Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do. — Dale Carnegie
Criticism — some people consider it a strength, others consider it a weakness.
Let’s get this out of the way. Constructive criticism can be a strength. Most criticism isn’t constructive or beneficial.
Some people just like to be critical. They go through life critical of everyone and everything. Nobody is ever good enough, nobody ever drives well enough, no person (other than them) is ever right, about anything, anywhere, anytime.
It’s a bad habit — but if we just back off of it a bit, we soon learn that:
- Nobody is right all of the time.
- Most people are trying to do their best — give them credit for that.
- The other people may just know more than you do.
- Different people have differing views of the world — but that doesn’t make them wrong — sometimes, they’re right and you’re wrong.
- People have different experiences, and those experiences give them different strengths and weaknesses. Different isn’t necessarily wrong or right — it’s just different.
I speak about this from experience. Years ago, I lapsed into the tendency to judge everyone by my own experiences in life — but after a few years of other experiences, I soon learned to give people the benefit of the doubt — until they prove themselves unworthy of my trust. In that time, few have proven themselves unworthy. I soon learned that criticism closes off our ability to learn as readily — because after a few years of habitually being critical, we soon learn to close off other points of view.
There are some times where constructive criticism is warranted — in a work situation where something needs to change, for example, or in a situation where safety is an issue to family, organization, or loved ones.
But most of the time, people aren’t critical for these few reasons. Instead, they are critical because their overly inflated ego does not allow them to allow that they may not be the center of the Universe after all.
Try complimenting, looking for the good and generally just being as agreeable as you can, most of the time.